Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A Time for Reflection?

Everybody does it around this time of year, right? Even if they don't admit it. I've been doing it full time since Christmas and off and on for all of 2008. Here's what I've figured out so far...

This year has been a real mixed bag for me. Lots of highs and lots of lows. Dunno why. I rode the high of 2007 for a good six months into '08 but then it mostly crashed and burned. I could really feel the onset of that little thing they were optimistically calling "the economic downturn" before it soon became known as "the recession" and I'm hoping won't become "the depression."

My lowest low came in August with Jaimie's brain surgery fiasco. The surgery itself wasn't a fiasco but everything that's come after it has been and continues to be. Of course, it's much worse for her because she is living it day after day but it definitely eats me up in ways I never expected. To the point that I feel like I had brain surgery too. But instead of installing a shunt in my head, they just decided it was best to remove my brain completely. You know, it's hard for me to be creatively prolific without my brain there to make a modicum of sense out of the sewage that pours out of my heart and soul. It's as if I am suffering from some sort of paralysis...the ideas are all there, swirling like a tornado through Kansas, but then pffft...I realize that I've just lost another hour, day, or week, time traveling in a fog.

Alright, stop right there. What a freakin' downer. More than enough reflection. Best to look forward. Figure out what I'm gonna do about it. How am I going to get back on the track and be the engineer of my life instead of the passenger? How am I going to rise up while the world economy continues to flush itself down the shitter? Is it even possible when most of us are living paycheck-to-paycheck? Uh oh...I don't even get a paycheck. Even so, somehow I've always managed to pull the proverbially rabbit out of the hat and I don't see why that should change now.

I'm not real big on New Year's resolutions. I think they set you up for failure. But I am going to make one. Just one. Seemingly simple. New Year's resolution.

I'm going to post something on this blog every single day in 2009.

Why would I make that my one resolution? Because I figure if I post every day, everything else will stay the course. And let's see...how about with each blog entry I commit to posting a photograph. I think. Maybe. Or. Hmmm. Damn those swirling ideas with no brain to sort them out.

Anyway, if you don't see a new post you'll know I'm dead.

This should be fun.

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