Sunday, September 23, 2007

Monday, Monday

Once again I have been remiss in keeping up with the blog. I suppose most of you think I've been basking in the glamor of my impending book release...doing interviews...hanging with the Hollywood legends...turning down lunch invitations...lounging by the pool...drinking margaritas...

...if only.

I was remiss in keeping up with the blog because I was labeling, stamping, stuffing, sorting and bundling 1700+ envelopes with Everybody I Shot Is Dead brochures. What a freaking nightmare! The mailing went out to independent bookstores and record stores throughout the U.S. to let them know about the book and that it is available to order from my wholesalers. It sounded easy enough before I/we (I had a part time helper) started. I mean, how hard could a 1700+ mailing be? I took a two-hour required class at the post office to learn the ins and outs of doing a bulk mailing...and as it turned out, sorting the envelopes to meet the requirements that saved 46¢ on each piece mailed was the easy part. It was the sticking of the address labels, return address labels, stamps, inserting the brochures, removing the flap backing and sealing the envelopes that was the bitch.

I managed to get to the point where I could return label and stamp 30 envelopes in 4 minutes. That would have been about 4 and a half hours of work (well, quadruple that to include addressing and stuffing) for the whole shebang providing I could keep up that pace. Which I couldn't. Unless I wanted to develop a severe case of carpel tunnel. Anyway, the job seemed to go on forever and I was never so happy as when I dropped the final 12 sacks of envelopes off at the post office. Hopefully, enough stores will order and sell enough books to make the whole exercise worthwhile.

Alright. Enough about that...it's over...forgotten...and not what this post was meant to be about. This post is about tomorrow. MONDAY. I believe I have written about Mondays in the past. Mainly about how I don't like Mondays. How I never seem to get positive results to anything I try to do on Mondays. Anything that requires dealing with other people. I believe it's because everyone hates Mondays. Maybe because it's the beginning of another whole 5 days of work (which is meaningless to me since I generally work all seven). Or maybe because people have trouble shaking the residue of the weekend (which is meaningless to me since I am rarely bestowed with weekend residue). Or maybe their football team lost, setting a negative mood for the start of the work week (okay, I do watch a little college football but since I didn't graduate from college I don't have a team). Whatever the reason, several months back I decided never to schedule important things on Mondays. I never set important meetings on Mondays and I never make important phone calls where I am in need of a favorable response on Mondays. I just don't do it. Why take the chance?

Any of you ever hear the phrase "never say never"?

There is something important scheduled for tomorrow - MONDAY - that I had no say in scheduling. Something I cannot change. It has to happen tomorrow. Nothing I can do about it. Except HOPE. And I am hoping. Hoping beyond all hope that this particular something won't fall into the Monday Negative Abyss where all things go wrong category. Where I am denied what I want only because I wanted it on the day called Monday.

This Monday...September 24th, 2007...is the day I am receiving the advance copies of Everybody I Shot Is Dead. The actual printed and bound copies sent directly from the printer in China. Tomorrow - MONDAY - is the first time I will gaze upon, touch and turn the pages of an actual finished copy of the book that has been two years in the making. And I have to look at it and approve it so they will ship the rest of the 9,950 books on the hopefully-not-so-slow boat from China. Why couldn't they have sent it out Thursday so that it could have arrived on the beautiful day known as Friday? Why does it have to come on MONDAY? Why? Why? Why?

Wait a second. Nevermind. It's all going to work out. I got it. Since I haven't heard directly from any of the 48 musicians in my book lately, I have to assume they have been in China these past two months overseeing the printing and making sure the book turned out perfect. That makes sense, right? And then they all flew back on the FedEx plane with the books and are now on the FedEx truck hovering around the six or so cases, making sure they arrive safely on my doorstep...fighting the evil Monday goblins all the way. Right? This is excellent. I'm fine now.

The book will be perfect.

The book will be perfect.

The book will be perfect.

1 comment:

eddie said...

At least you didn't have to lick all the envelopes like in the olden days And the book will be perfect. It's just toys and freedom China has trouble with.

My football team won today, but I'm still all residuey and dreading Monday.