Monday, June 01, 2009


***This blog post is rated R for language and violence.***

Fuck 'em. I go away for less than three weeks and I come home to an infestation. I'm in kill mode. You don't want to get in my way. I will swat you 'til you're dead. Seriously.

And there's nothing more disgusting than finding where they dropped their maggot carci. That's my new word for the day...carci. It's the new plural for carcass. Pronounced car-ki with a long 'i'. I know the plural is supposed to be carcasses but the ending of that word is just way too soft - as if I'm saying caresses - yup, way too soft to be effective in discussing anything to do with fucking flies.

I would have taken a photo of all the carci but that would certainly incite a mass exodux from this blog. However, there are still three flies circling my presence, doing their best to evade my rolled magazine armed right hand. I am going to try a get a picture of one of them to post here. Don't know if I cana since the big camera is otherwise engaged this evening and I am left with only my flashless iPhone. I should have shot the two that were lollygagging on the plexi frame of my Jean Harlow silkscreen print before I flattened them into flycakes sans syrup. mission accomplished. Not my greatest work*, but I can see the emotion...especially in the last one. In case you're wondering, the first two are the before pictures and the last one is after I gave it a make-over.

I don't believe I am a natural born killer (maybe there's a personality test I can take to determine this) but I admit to killing flies. They make me insane. And I haven't researched them but I can't think of any usefulness they provide. Feel free to enlighten me if you like and next time I'll call in some fly herders to take them out through the back door.

Have a nice night and please don't blame me if your dream about Jeff Goldblum.

*This photo shoot was not easy. The fly decided to pose on the ceiling. I had to stand on a cushioned chair and reach my iPhone to extended arm's length (sadly no zoom on the iPhone). I also had to bring in an assistant to hold a light like the statue of liberty. I want to thank the fly for its ability to hold a pose and appreciate the sacrifice it made for the final photo.
BTW, the fly signed a full waiver and understood the risks involved.

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