This Is Me...

...getting all my ducks in row and crossing to the other side of the road. I'm doing a major overhaul at my office and throughout my house. I've come to realize I've been walking around with a thousand pound ball and chain attached to my ankle. No wonder I've been so tired.

So, this is it. Last chance for romance. Time to let the Anal Chick I've been holding hostage inside my Slothen Self finally escape. To tell you the truth, that bitch may be the one that's been holding me back and wearing me down. So I'm giving in and giving up. Swimming upstream is not the way to reach the open sea. My Slothen Self is surrending to the overpowering Anal Chick. Slothen Self is going down like the Magic in overtime. Making room for the Anal Chick to fulfill he promise of growth, prosperity...and enough spare time to have a life.

I guess it's about time I let go. About time I stop rebeling. To tell you the truth, rebeling has gotten me nowhere. And I'm kinda sick of swimming upstream. I'm sick of trying so hard. I'm sick of trudging through all the piles of shit (pretend that's a metaphor). It's time to take the pooper scooper out and clear the stench. Make room for the flowers to grow. It's finally really dawning on me that you can't move forward if you've got a Sasquatch on your back.

I know know exactly what I have to do. But there's still this one nagging question.... Can I actually do it? I've tried this exercise before, more than once. But I've always stalled out. But I figure by putting it out here I cannot fail. I'm hoping to accomplish it - well, at least 70% of it - by the end of this month. Along with some paying work in there for good measure. Really...that's what I'm gonna do.

While I've been thinking about...maybe pondering is a more accurate word...this duck lining up thing all year, I only really started today. To be honest, I just started tonight. And so far I've rifled through half a file drawer.

Go ahead, you can laugh at me. It's okay...I'm kinda laughing at myself. Yeah, I know a half a file drawer is not exactly getting the ducks in a row or moving the mountain. I know I have to pick up the pace. Big time. But I'm sleep deprived. Hoping to get a full night of zzzzs tonight so I can really get it going tomorrow and throughout the weekend.

So, when you're finihed laughing at me, send some good "get off your ass and do it, Chesher" vibes. I can use all the help I can get.

Most appreciated.